What makes it worth it???

What makes it worth it?

In 2016 I began to think about what makes life worth it? I had evolved from working a job to a career and was pursuing an opportunity for advancement into the corporate office after having experienced the most wonderful but temporary position as a Regional Trainer for a major Retail company that ended when all stores came on line. I had moved to the DMV area to position myself for a regional operations manager position. I love training folx and implementing processes, but especially finding ways to explain the why to people. You know make it make sense. I was getting paid the most I had been paid, but as life has it things didn’t quite go the way as expected and I found myself wanting a lot more, especially when the company went in a different direction with a very qualified candidate for that Regional role. I was miserable back on the store level and was needing a big change.

Working at a job solely for the purpose to make money is not it for me, especially with no goal in mind. Sure I need to pay bills to survive but going into a place that doesn’t spark my joy, or barely utilizes and expands my gifts is not exactly where I’d like to spend a majority of the finite time I have on this planet. I can be bit of a workaholic so going into an environment for 45 to sometimes 60 hours a week for a place where I’m not really expanding my gifts nor being pushed to grow does not align with the kind of world I wanted to see. Not that the organizational systems for a fast fashion retail company really are creating a better world, however I was being able aid folx in reaching their goals, getting promotions and creating more ease for the whole store. I don’t like hearing no when I worked my ass off to achieve things. Add to that I was was miserable and thought hmm, why am I doing this work? What makes it worth it? started to think about what I could do that would challenge me to create, to be a better human, to be more grounded not only in who I was but what type of community I wanted to see.

Here we are in 2024 and I’ve got a much better sense of that. What makes life worth it, especially amidst set backs. Like set backs are a thing. I’m creating something with Cookies& Conversations that is human based. Its focusing on how do you feel? How does one think about and connect not only to themselves and the world around them. Its an idea, and a shift in being intentionally present. I want to be intentionally present. I want the people around me to also have a space where if they choose they too can be intentionally present. I do that by making bomb ass cookies that hit your flavor receptors in a way that bring you back to your body. I make cookies that are good as hell. Those cookies also have stories. They also have ingredients and flavor profiles that connect to a memory, to a history, to a deep tapestry of life. Its one of the reasons I find the idea of scaling so difficult. What happens to a product when its detached from the human hands that make it? When it becomes mass produced, with the most cost effective ingredients and for the largest profit margin?

Me pushing forward on trying to figure out how to strike the balance between creating spaces where all of our interesting and unique histories can commingle while also continuing to create cookies that make you go mmm, ohmygawd, and other sounds is what I want to do. I know not everyone is going to appreciate what I do. Hell there isn’t a model yet that I’ve seen that strikes the balance between the community and the cookies. And I’m also okay with that. It is hard as fuck though. So figuring out how to build something that doesn’t quite exist, a space that can and does sustain itself, evolve, and grow is important. I like to tell people I want to create a life and a business I don’t have to take a vacation from. Like its all built in. I don’t want to have to compartmentalize and that idea doesn’t exist in the current way our systems are set up. But knowing that this idea in my head and my heart exists tells me there is a life and a world where the balance is struck between deep connection to each other, and to ourselves. This is what makes this worth it. It’s what makes every L and every restart worth it. Knowing that I can and will one day figure it out, but in the meantime keep working on that Luxurious experience that wraps your senses like a warm blanket bringing you back into yourself, back into recognition that we all on this planet together, while I go get another job to fund it is worth it. It’s worth it. All my crispy crunchy layers, all my soft and gooey interiors, all the seasoning, exquisite ingredients, playful and creative endeavors. It is worth it! Humanity is worth it. Maybe just maybe a cookie can save the world.